


Putting Off Crying

by anthcnystark



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Boys In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hopeful Ending, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Howard Stark's Bad Parenting, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Love Confessions, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Nightmares, One Shot, Past Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Steve Rogers, Steve Feels, Suicidal Thoughts, Superhusbands, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-28
Updated: 2017-08-28
Packaged: 2018-12-20 21:37:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11929770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anthcnystark/pseuds/anthcnystark
Summary: After Tony has a nightmare, Steve has to step up to the plate to take of his heartbroken husband.





	Putting Off Crying

**Author's Note:**

> I wish I could say I sat down and wrote this just now, but it's actually a heavily revised and edited version of a story I posted on my Deviantart account when I was 12 or 13. I liked the idea, but I think I polished up the execution.
> 
> The title is from the song Menswear by The 1975
> 
> * Please mind the tags *

Steve yawned and scrubbed his face with a hand, stumbling into the bedroom, bracing himself on the chest of drawers by the door. For the first time in many weeks, he had been beaten to bed by Tony, sleeping off jet lag after a week’s worth of business meetings in Tokyo. He opened the door and smiled softly at the sight of his husband sleeping. It was a comforting sight, one he didn’t often have the privilege of walking in on. Moving quietly, he settled onto the bed, removing his shirt and jeans until only his underwear were left. He knew it probably wasn’t necessary to be so careful. Tony was so sleep deprived he was bound to sleep through the noise, but Steve still felt the need. He let the stress of the day melt out of his body and tossed an arm over the sleeping man who sighed softly and pressed into his embrace. Moonlight filtered through the window, illuminating the room with a gentle glow. Steve buried his face in his partner’s silky hair. He was pleased to find that it still carried the scent of the shampoo he liked so much. He felt a soft vibration against his chest, but couldn’t make out the words. 

"What was that, sweetheart?" 

"I said, get closer" Steve did, relishing in the feeling of their body heat mingling. The captain took a deep breath and gazed at the love of his life, heart fluttering. He was glad Tony had fallen back to sleep. If he had been awake still, Steve would have felt inclined to try and express his feelings, and he knew he would never be able to describe how he felt, instead looking like the lovesick fool he was. He kissed the top of his lover’s head, causing the brunette to smile in his sleep and snuggle closer. Steve felt as though he had only just drifted off when he awoke to soft whimpering and felt the body beside him shudder. Tony was having his nightmares again. Taking deep breaths to control his own emotions, Steve went to wake him. 

"Tony, wake up, baby. It’s not real." His eyes shot open, wet with pain and fear. He jumped out of bed and managed only a few frantic steps before he collapsed into a heap, body wracking with sobs. Steve slipped out of bed and picked his husband up from the floor, holding him in his lap and rocking him back and forth on the ground. Knowing there was nothing he could do about the nightmare, he hoped his presence was enough for now. The smaller man clung to the soldier like a lifeline, and Steve held on, silent tears of his own cutting trails down his cheeks. Unsure of what else to do, he firmly pressed his lips against Tony's, in an attempt to soothe his crying. Steve heard a soft noise from the back of his lover's throat, which morphed into a sigh of content. He felt Tony's hands press against his chest, stroking and feeling. Steve returned the gesture of affection. It was grounding, something they both needed. 

"I'm so sorry, honey." Steve resumed playing with his husband’s hair with his free hand, doing his best to be a solid presence. “Do you want to talk about it.” Tony shook his head no. 

“It was just Howard again. There’s nothing new to say.” Steve nodded in understanding, doing his best to avoid prying, even if he desperately wanted to. 

"You won’t leave, right? Everyone always does, but you can’t okay? You promised." 

"Tony Stark, I swear on my life and my honor as Captain America, that I'll be here for you until the day I die, and then I'll be waiting for you in heaven or Valhalla or whatever it is, or maybe I'll meet you there. No matter what happens, no matter how many times we argue, or bad days we have, I’ll be there.” Tony looked up at Steve. He saw the vulnerability intense in his dark eyes. As Steve looked closer though, he saw the unbridled pain finally showing through. Steve had seen that haunted look in his eyes before. He had caught glimpses of it, but Tony had quickly composed himself, pasting on a good natured smirk. Suddenly, Steve heard a soft cry from the man beside him and looked over in concern. Tony had a hand clasped around the arc reactor, staring at it with a dark fixation. Steve gasped and pulled his hand away, meeting his husband’s eyes. Steve dropped his head down to rest on Tony's chest, furiously kissing the beautiful piece of metal that was keeping the love of his life alive and with him. 

"I'm sorry, Steve. I'm sorry, baby. I don't know what I was thinking. I’d never want to hurt you like that. Please, don't be angry with me." His voice trembled, scarcely above a coarse whisper. 

"Oh Tony, I'm not angry. Not at all. I love you. But I think we need to talk in the morning. I can’t let you go down that road. It’ll end up nowhere good for either of us." 

"Okay.” His voice held more hesitation than Steve would have liked, but that was to be dealt with in the morning. “I don't deserve you, Steve. You should let me, you know. I should have died in the cave. But I didn't." 

“Hey, Tony? Do you know what I love about you?" Tony shook his head. "Well, first of all, I love the way you smile when you see me. Your whole face lights up. I love the way you laugh. The real one, not the other one. I love your body. You have to know that by now.” Steve gasped at his lover’s embarrassed squeak. “I love the way you kiss me. I swear my heart does back flips. I love the way you defend me no matter what it might cost you. I love the way you're patient with me as I learn about this century. I love the way you touch me, and how my skin tingles for hours afterward. Most of all, I love the way you love me." There was silence, with only the sound of breathing to break it. Finally, Tony spoke. 

"Steve, do you know what I love about you?" Steve cocked his head in interest, keeping quiet so as not to break the spell. "I love the way you give me second chances, even though I don't deserve it. I love the way you stay by my side, no matter what stupid shit I do. I love the way you make me feel safe even without the suit. I love the way you talk to me like a regular person and treat me like one too. I love the way you look at me like I'm the only man in the world. I love the way you listen to me, and always know the right thing to say. I love the way you're you, Steve." He smiled weakly. Steve stayed quiet. Nothing he could say would do anything but ruin the mood. Instead, he wrapped Tony up in his arms, laying them both down. He tried to swallow the lump in his throat, but it burst from his lips in a wet sob. Feeling his husband’s concern, he forced himself to speak. 

"I'll always be here. Just say the word if you need me." Tony carded a hand through his blonde hair. 

"I need you now Steve. The world still has darkness. That's one thing that hasn't changed since the 40’s. But that’s okay, I think. Because wherever you are, there’s light. All I need is for you to take me to where you are." Steve sighed in contentment, at least for the moment. 

"You're right. It is dark out there. But you’re wrong.” Steve pressed a hand to the reactor. “You’re the light." Clasping hands, Steve pulled his lover down to sleep again. There were still problems, things to worry about, probably therapists to see, but as long as they had each other for light, it could wait until morning.


End file.
